Things I Have Destroyed

When I was a puppy, I destroyed a few things. Of course, I’m older now, so I don’t destroy nearly as many things. Except maybe the newspaper, if my human accidentally leaves it on the coffee table. And shoes, if she forgets to put them away. And anything left on the counter, if I can reach it.

Things I Have Destroyed

  1. All four corners of the coffee table
  2. Two lamp cords
  3. A wicker ottoman *
  4. A cell phone **
  5. A bank statement
  6. A metal tie out chain ***
  7. A brown shoe
  8. A black shoe
  9. A dollar bill ****
  10. Many CDs (G through H)

* I did not destroy the wicker elevated dog bed that came with the ottoman, although I have chewed on it quite a bit. My human says this used to be a “chair”, something that humans sit on. I like it because it’s just the right height for me to see out the window, and very comfy to curl up in.

** It rang and rang and rang, but my human was in the shower and did not answer it, so I did.

*** I was provoked by a rabbit.

**** What is a “federal offense”?


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