Deep Thoughts

dog 案 Birds of a feather flock together, which is nice, because they are easier to chase that way.

案 Chasing your tail gets you nowhere except back to where you started.

案 If you want the best seat in the house, move the dog.

案 If you are a host to your guest, be a host to his dog also.
(Russian Proverb)

案 Show a dog a finger, and he wants the whole hand.
(Yiddish Proverb)

案 If you stop every time a dog barks, your road will never end.
(Saudi Arabian Proverb)

案 Beware of a silent dog and still water.
(Latin Proverb)

案 The dog wags his tail, not for you, but for your bread.
(Portuguese Proverb)

案 Those who sleep with dogs will rise with fleas.
(Italian Proverb)

案 A dog’s kennel is not the place to keep a sausage.
(Danish Proverb)

案 One dog barks at something, the rest bark at him.
(Chinese Proverb)

案 To live long, eat like a cat and drink like a dog.
(German Proverb)

案 A house without a dog is the house of a scoundrel.
(Portuguese proverb)

案 Are lightning bugs really made out of lightning?

案 Does an agnostic dyslexic insomniac lie awake all night wondering if there really is a dog?

案 How do they get the deer to cross exactly at the road sign?

案 If you plant bird seed in the garden, can you grow a chicken?

案 You can catch more squirrels with nuts than you can with barking.

案 What happens when the irresistable border collie meets the immovable sheep?

案 Why do I sniff around for the perfect place to poop, when my human just picks it up anyway?

案 If the sign says “No Dogs Allowed”, is just one dog OK?

案 How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tennis ball? The world may never know.

案 What do they call a German Short Haired Pointer in Germany?

案 I wonder if the first robin of spring tastes like chicken.

案 Why is 50° a heat wave in March, but a cold snap in August?

案 What happens to the inside of a tennis ball when you chew away the outside?

案 If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three treats in your pocket and then give me only two of them.

案 A dog who goes to a flea circus will probably steal the show.

案 Why isn’t there squirrel-flavored dog food?

案 A rabbit in the mouth is worth eight in the bush.

案 If the groundhog comes out of his hole, sees his shadow, and gets eaten by a dog, how many more weeks of winter is that?

案 Can God make a stick so big that he himself cannot throw it?

案 If you chew away all the wood from a stick, is it still a stick?

案 Chase or chase not; there is no try.

案 Which came first, the chicken or the egg? And can I have both?

案 How many pieces of kibble are in an empty bowl?

案 If a ball squeaks in the forest and no one is there to hear it, do I still get a treat?

案 What is the sound of one tail wagging?



  1. Jake,
    My human was at Mound’s today and there were BUNNY RABBITS in cages! What deep thoughts do you have about that? Can we buy one to play with? How many tennis balls would it take?

  2. BUNNY RABBITS for sale at Mounds?!? They really do have everything! I’ve invested most of my tennis balls in snowbanks right now, but maybe we can buy a bunny this spring! We could even drive there ourselves – I figured out how to put my human’s car into cruise control. You’ll have to do the steering, though, because I zig-zag too much.

  3. This is hysterical! Thanks for the laugh. May I poach it some time?

  4. Go for it! Glad you enjoyed it!

  5. Jake – wondering if you have any new Haiku to share with those here in the Midwest. We have had a brutal winter and a not so pleasant spring. Your previous poetry brought joy and joy is needed here.

    Please consider more writing.

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